Kiss my ass

Hello everyone. Yes, apparently I decided to take the summer off from my blog. Can’t say that was by design or anything, but hey, you get what you pay for.

To catch you up on my life, it’s been a busy, yet uneventful summer. My daughter is 10 and is asking for a cell phone. My dog still follows me everywhere and eats the occasional shoe. And my husband longs to booze it up like we did when we were 20, but he mostly ends up having one drink and falling asleep.

All-in-all, our current lame-ass, boring life is a nice change from other times in our lives of late. I realize that every life has challenges and our bad times certainly could have been worse, but still–they totally sucked at the time.

Most recently, late 2007-late 2009 is what I now refer to as the era of Total Crazy Shit Happening.

This particular era was probably THE most painful and tortuous time I ever spent at a job that I didn’t exactly hate with people that drove me to the brink of total insanity. It was also a time for drastic slashes on spending which has resulted in a strange, debt-free existence ever since.

Total. Crazy. Shit. Happening.

It all started so innocently. I wanted a new job, something that was more creative and an easier commute. I found a job in marketing at a small pharmaceutical company–and it was only a 10-minute commute from our house. PERFECT.

Even before I started my first day, I felt a vague sense of strangeness that I couldn’t shake. But I blew it off as “First New Job in 10 Years” jitters.

But no, as always, my instincts were dead on.

Craziness ensued from day one–starting with my Canadian boss getting stopped by the border police while trying to catch a plane to Boston. He was interviewed for hours and after they reluctantly let him go home, they told him not to try to enter the US again without jumping thought a massive pile of hoops first.

And so, I would communicate with my new boss by phone for the next 1 year, 9 months.

Work visa. Immigration papers. Travel restrictions aside. There was plenty of other weird things going on as well.

To start with, the owner of the company called countless, impromptu, pointless meetings with the Marketing team (of which, I was one of 4 people on said team) that invariably continued well into the evening. This man was the only man I have ever met in my life who could probably talk forever. It was truly fascinating and infuriating.

There was also a strange, mass paranoia among the mere 25 people who worked there. Everyone had secret meetings to discuss the other secret meetings that everyone else was having. Can you say: Un-comfortable?

Top on my list of weirdness, was the crazy guy that no one had the balls to deal with.

None of the other back-stabbing, double-talking crazies that worked there compared to this psychotic, pill-popping, stalker guy. He took the cake on crazy. I could do a whole blog post on him alone, but let’s just say that he level of inappropriate behavior would not fly anywhere else in America. Only here. The place I decided to work. Lucky me.

And he wasn’t the only crazy. There were several other unstable jerk-offs in this place–including a bi-polar, racist white chick, a misogynistic former used-car salesman (AKA: big fat white guy), many assorted lazy people and a few hard working young Indians who were stuck working there lest they be sent packing back to India.

Apparently, there are worse hells than this.

Half the company took a paycheck, but never worked. While the other half of the company worked all day, all night and weekends.

A strange mix of highly-credentialed people appeared in marketing materials and were talked about often, but none of them were big on spending too much time in the office. Unfortunate, really. Somewhere in there, there might have been a viable company.

For the rest of us low-life’s, the owner of the company had a theory that if he saw people working late and on weekends, lots of work was getting done. Unfortunately, what you see isn’t necessarily what you get.

At one point, the entire company agreed to not getting paid.

Well, “agreed” is quite the right word for it. It was more of a “we don’t have any money to pay you right now, so if you just hang on for a few more days, we’ll make it up to you.” And they BOUGHT IT. They hung on for a few days, a few weeks, a few months…with NO PAY!!

And these people are the same people who saw–even helped–the company play this game with countless vendors for months before this moment. They KNOW that none of those vendors have gotten a dime to date. How does this shit happen?

They made a mistake when they hired me as I was the only one who filed for unemployment the day I didn’t get a paycheck.

Shocker: I was not one of those people who “agreed” to the no-pay arrangement. Instead, I spent the summer walking the dog, writing, job hunting and in general, selfishly putting my own needs ahead of a company that couldn’t get it together to write me my lousy paycheck. Call me a disloyal bitch, but you can only call me your bitch if you pay me first.

I was also the only one that made them pay me all the money they owed me.

This is America people. You can’t let someone work for you and then tell them after the fact that you can’t pay them. It only took the State of Massachusetts 6 months, but I got my money–the day before Christmas. A true miracle.

I’m the only one with a new job that I know of–a year later.

That can’t be right. Sometimes I wonder–what are people doing? How are they holding on to hope at this point? What does that man say to them to keep them coming to work? IN-SAN-ITY.

The company still has not launched the products they were supposed to launch in 2008.

This is not really all that surprising. What is surprising is that they still have an office with people in it–masquerading as a company.

Total. Crazy. Shit.