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Idiots Rule!

You know what this country needs? More idiots in the spotlight.

Maybe I’m just sick and tired of all the logical and thoughtful banter I’ve been hearing on NPR lately. But you know educated debate is BORING. We Americans need entertainment. We don’t need to learn about foreign affairs or other cultures or history or any of that kind of crap.

No sir. We need to give more people like  Pastor Terry Jones a voice.  Because nothing says news like a pathetic wacko with a heap of hatred for a religion with one major fault–it’s not his. Read the rest of this entry »

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Enbrel injection

Good times

I wrote this a few months ago when I was feeling like shit. And for some reason, I was too proud to post it.

I’m better now and less proud, so I’m posting it to remind myself: this too shall pass.

As I’ve written about before (a couple times actually), I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis about nine years ago. I spent the first two of those years in a lot of pain and wondering what the hell was wrong with me.

While various doctors worked to find me an actual diagnosis, I popped a lot of pills that didn’t help my pain very much (nor did they have any narcotic effect, so they weren’t any fun either).  But they did do other weird things to my body–like making my hair fall out. And making me fat.

One doctor thought I had Lupus. Another RA. I picked the RA guy and he started me on Enbrel. Awesome, right? Well..

Enbrel isn’t a pill you can pop. It’s an injectable  medication. Which means, I got to mix my meds, fill a syringe and stab myself with a needle 2x a week. I got to keep a sharps container in my office closet. And I got to walk on an airplane with my needles in my carry on and my doctor’s note in my hand.

It was awesome.

Lucky for me, I actually got better. A lot better. I could walk again. I could chew food again. I could hold a book and I could even sign my name again. It was really awesome.

In the years that have passed since my two years of unbelievable agony, I have still had pain now and then. But nothing like it used to be. I haven’t taken Enbrel in years and my rheumatologist has declared me his first “cure” eva.

The rub?

I still have rheumatoid arthritis.

I’m tired a lot. My joints hurt a lot.

And no one knows.

No one can see it.

And I just deal. I just muddle through. And I get really annoyed and frustrated and even angry  sometimes.

And people probably just think I’m being a bitch. Or that I’m lazy.

But, I’m not really. I’m just in pain and I’m tired and I hurt.

And it sucks.