So NOT inappropriate!

 

It’s that time of year again–Halloween. A time to agonize over the perfect costume for my precious 11-year-old child. I wrote about our struggle to find just the right outfit last year. It was a tough decision, but in the end, we settled on “whore”.

This year, I’m not going to walk into a costume store and just pick anything categorized as “girl” to suit our whore needs. No sir. Too easy.

This year, I’m going to take it to a whole new level. Yeah, that’s right.  I’m going for a look that you won’t find in a costume store for kids.

This year, we’re going as…….. PREGNANT!

Oh, it’s going to be so great! I can see the look of jealousy on other parents’ faces right now. Snicker all you want ladies, you just wish you thought of it first.

Think of all the precious bonding moments I’ll have while I stuff her belly and her bra. And while I draw “baby boy” on her stretched-way-too-tight shirt.

And I’m thinking to complete the look, we could bribe a boy from school trick-r-treat with her in a shirt that says: “I’m the dad”.

AWESOME.

I am wondering one thing though–should we go with the single pregnancy thing or should we have her pushing a double-stroller with a set of twins from a previous relationship?

Well, there’s still plenty of time to straighten that detail out. I’m just not sure where I’ll find a set of infants for rent.

What other genius ideas do I have?

Well, I am also thinking that I’ll encourage my daughter to make a pact with all the her girlfriends at school to go preggers too.

Come on, everybody’s doin’ it!

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