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Mt. Monadnock

 

Dear Mother Shaffer,

In case you forgot, you haven’t been to the gym in over a year.  Maybe longer.  And no, walking the dog once a week around the neighborhood does not constitute sufficient aerobic exercise. Neither does running up the stairs in your home once a day.

So, the next time you think you can climb a mountain 2 hours to the top and another 2 hours to the bottom at a moment’s notice–think again.

You are out of shape. You can’t suddenly get in shape on the day you decide to hike with the family. In fact, you may very well die if you do it that way. Or wet yourself. Or fall on your face. Or cry like a baby. Did you even read the sign??!!

Remember how your heart felt like it was going to pound out of your chest about 1/2 hour into the 2 hour assent? And your daughter gave you that “what’s your problem?” look because she just couldn’t fathom anyone getting winded that quickly?

Well, I’m writing this note so you don’t forget it. So you’ll get off your ass and go for a run once in a while. Or maybe a gym. Or something. So we don’t have to re-live this embarrassment again.

Sincerely,

The smarter, healthier, better version of you

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Isn't he precious? So wierd that he grew up and gunned down 5 classmates.

Looking at the calendar, you may not be surprised to find that we are largely a nation that celebrates birthdays and victories–moments in time when we are at our best. Or at least, moments we can be proud of.

What we don’t celebrate is our lowest hours, our failures and dark moments that define how we think and act towards others.  Rarely do we put a spotlight on moments we should be ashamed of.

Maybe it’s about time we did. Read the rest of this entry »

Idiots Rule!

You know what this country needs? More idiots in the spotlight.

Maybe I’m just sick and tired of all the logical and thoughtful banter I’ve been hearing on NPR lately. But you know educated debate is BORING. We Americans need entertainment. We don’t need to learn about foreign affairs or other cultures or history or any of that kind of crap.

No sir. We need to give more people like  Pastor Terry Jones a voice.  Because nothing says news like a pathetic wacko with a heap of hatred for a religion with one major fault–it’s not his. Read the rest of this entry »

Kiss my ass

Hello everyone. Yes, apparently I decided to take the summer off from my blog. Can’t say that was by design or anything, but hey, you get what you pay for.

To catch you up on my life, it’s been a busy, yet uneventful summer. My daughter is 10 and is asking for a cell phone. My dog still follows me everywhere and eats the occasional shoe. And my husband longs to booze it up like we did when we were 20, but he mostly ends up having one drink and falling asleep.

All-in-all, our current lame-ass, boring life is a nice change from other times in our lives of late. I realize that every life has challenges and our bad times certainly could have been worse, but still–they totally sucked at the time.

Most recently, late 2007-late 2009 is what I now refer to as the era of Total Crazy Shit Happening. Read the rest of this entry »