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So NOT inappropriate!


It’s that time of year again–Halloween. A time to agonize over the perfect costume for my precious 11-year-old child. I wrote about our struggle to find just the right outfit last year. It was a tough decision, but in the end, we settled on “whore”.

This year, I’m not going to walk into a costume store and just pick anything categorized as “girl” to suit our whore needs. No sir. Too easy.

This year, I’m going to take it to a whole new level. Yeah, that’s right.  I’m going for a look that you won’t find in a costume store for kids. Read the rest of this entry »

In a few short years, my daughter will make the transition to teenager–that awful stage of growing up where children turn from cute miniature versions of youself to devil spawn, hell bent on making everyone else in their lives miserable.  Read the rest of this entry »

Make mommy proud!

Now, go get us some candy!

Every year, I look forward to picking out a Halloween outfit for my girl. She was a pumpkin the first couple years; then Peter Pan (I was so proud she didn’t want to be Tinker Bell); then Snow White; then Cinderella; then a couple witches.

And this year?

A whore. Read the rest of this entry »

My daughter, my one and only child, will be ten this winter. Ten. Double freakin’ digits.

And do you know what double digits means? It means the end of the little girl I’ve been holding on to. The one I’d like to stay nine forever. The one that has no idea what growing up means. The one that still believes in Santa and the Tooth Fairy and thinks her mom knows the answer to everything.

It means we’ll be having the “talk” soon. The talk that dispels all the mystery and reveals the secret lives of ADULTS. Read the rest of this entry »