Note to self

 

Mt. Monadnock

 

Dear Mother Shaffer,

In case you forgot, you haven’t been to the gym in over a year.  Maybe longer.  And no, walking the dog once a week around the neighborhood does not constitute sufficient aerobic exercise. Neither does running up the stairs in your home once a day.

So, the next time you think you can climb a mountain 2 hours to the top and another 2 hours to the bottom at a moment’s notice–think again.

You are out of shape. You can’t suddenly get in shape on the day you decide to hike with the family. In fact, you may very well die if you do it that way. Or wet yourself. Or fall on your face. Or cry like a baby. Did you even read the sign??!!

Remember how your heart felt like it was going to pound out of your chest about 1/2 hour into the 2 hour assent? And your daughter gave you that “what’s your problem?” look because she just couldn’t fathom anyone getting winded that quickly?

Well, I’m writing this note so you don’t forget it. So you’ll get off your ass and go for a run once in a while. Or maybe a gym. Or something. So we don’t have to re-live this embarrassment again.

Sincerely,

The smarter, healthier, better version of you